July 1

Sorta, sorta sleep,
Fall asleep on uncleared bed sleep,
And when up, kinda,
Realize I haven’t said anything out lout yet,
So say aloud
“rabbits, rabbits, rabbits,”
to bring luck the whole month-long.

July 2

I test the 2-liter coke and pepsi family soda prices
Walking away from home,
Each time bringing a basket down the aisle,
In case the price is low enough to not care
about the prices I haven’t seen.
Duane Reade, $1.89 or $1.98.
Rite Aid, 2 for $3
CVS, 79¢,
79¢ for Coke family sodas two liters,
six maximum,
I buy eight, my walking maximum,
in two purchases at the self-serve.

July 3

sean and i finish writing the final state, washington,
in our states project
in time for us to arrive at my gristede’s market
at 20 minutes before midnight
so i can buy things to put on bread,
cottage cheese, natural peanut butter (without salt),
sugar free preserves (apricot and strawberry).
but all the doors are closed,
and me and a coupla other potential customers
are unsure what to do,
what’s going on,
as it’s 20 minutes before closing time,
and the lights are still on inside.
so i say “someone’s going to open this door,”
and begin pounding on the glass door with both my fists
like i should be yelling “elaine, elaine”
alternating fists, repeatedly,
until after a minute or so
a manager comes to the inside door,
reaches his right hand in and gestures.
i follow his hand to a sign,
“july 3, 8am-10pm,”
gesture sheepishly with my hands as go “d’oh,”
give a quick bow,
and then head off to
CVS,
79¢ for Coke family sodas two liters,
and open 24 hours.

July 4

July 4, 1976
missed going with my parents to see the tall ships in new york harbor for the bicentennial,
i think i was in summer camp.

July 5, 1980
missed watching borg-mcenroe five-set wimbledon final,
the one with the 18-16 fourth-set tiebraker,
i think i was in summer camp.

July 29, 1981
missed my generation’s royal wedding,
charles and diana,
i think i was in summer camp.

July 5

i remember to order from fresh direct,
hop online a little after eleven
screen shows how they’ve moved their order close-out time
back from midnight to eleven.
i knew that, i forgot, damn it,
another day with a little food.

July 6

i am still watching the movie honey
everytime it's on
one star review or not.

July 7

i told mom that
the girl with the dragon tattoo was premiering on cable tonight,
the american version,
in case she wanted to dvr it.
(her and my dad had seen one of the foreign versions
while staying with my uncle sollie and aunt carrie
in the bay area a few years back.)
"i'm not going to watch that tonight," mom said,
which i knew meant, "it's dark.
i wanna watch it during daylight."

so i watched it because i wanted to watch it.
and when it was done
called my folks.

"it's not as dark as they make you think," i told my mom,
and then i said to my dad,
"i mean, there's a bunch of nudity,
and an anal rape,
but it's pretty quick."

July 8

awake at 12:30
to watch on dvr
if andy murray maybe becomes
first british man since 1936 to win wimbledon.
can't go online to avoid finding out what happened
or talk to people on the phone without first yelling
"don't tell me what's going on today in any sports event"
(i'm recording the met game to watch after the tennis).
so i write my searches and a question for my dad
down in my memo pad:

—how many people minimum would you be able to have in the friends and family box?

—how does the replay camera work at wimbledon? (you know, that weird simulation of the ball and the court.)

—do they have tickertape parades in england for sports heroes?

—(for dad)
murray is wearing ankle braces on each ankle
and  low-cut sneakers.
why isn't he wearing hi-top sneakers and ankle braces instead? (that's what i did when i tore ligaments in my ankle
in high school
and continued to play on our basketball team.)

July 9

DVD Recommendation

i'm assuming it's on dvd.

just watched an ed burns film i hadn't heard of,
nice guy johnny,
from 2010.
big theme is dreams and do you stop pursuing them.
with a romcom nontraditionally tossed in.

July 10

i feel guilty
and a little less in the know
every time
i don't like tom waits

July 11

Subject: Re: Here's Patriots Owner Bob Kraft Helping His Girlfriend With Some Kind Of Weird Audition

we should probably introduce her and her friend stacy kiebler to our dads since these ladies have a thing for old men. wither myra.

the espys just put up the major passings of the last 12 months in sports, about eight names. it was a little weird today looking at one of them—myra kraft.

July 12

central park tickle me elmo's an antisemite
tickling my kosher friend's cute daughter

July 13

27 years ago today
me at live aid, the philadelphia end,
and led zeppelin's survivors
takes the jfk stadium stage
post-dead bonzo
with tony thompson of chic
and phil collins fresh from wembley
and the late, lamented concorde
drumming

a section to our left,
maybe 20 feet away,
guy in blue gym shorts with white piping,
the classic gym class gym shorts
of the seventies and eighties,
with no t-shirt,
reaches his right hand down his shorts
and starts jerking off
vigorously
as he takes in the first sounds
of the reunited semi-led zeppelin.

July 14

i'm happy that it's over
this stranglehold of yours
how you don't call and you don't write
haven't connected in a fortnight.
but i count th eminutes to midnight
and then i seize the day
time to make something
time you go away.

July 15

ancillary fun with fact-checking
In checking how nonviolent was punctuated in SNCC,
I discovered SNCC's first chairman was Marion Barry.

July 16

did you watch
political animals last night?

good,
but i lose respect for a political/newsy show
when the actor playing a reporter who won a pulitzer prize
can't pronounce pulitzer properly.

July 17
my new doc made a horrible tradeoff
she needs her old name back
fast
it's almost as though her husband didn't want to
so much pass on the family name
but subject her to it.

July 18

sometimes when they
turn you down for a job
and say "we're going to keep your resume on file"
they actually do.

July 19
cereal talk w/my diabetes nutritionist
of me needing more fiber to counteract the carbs
i don't want to sound like a pervert
but the button below her breasts is unbuttoned
i tell her, "i don't want to sound like a pervert,
but you have a button on your blouse unbuttoned."
she thanks me,
must know i'm a pervert.

July 20

where were you 43 years ago today
i say to my mother,
to set her up to tell one of her favorite stories,
the night of the moon landing.
"we were worried the floor would cave in on this end of the bungalow,"
she said
"we were the only ones in the bungalow colony
with a tv that worked."

July 21

i don't keep doing so because i like you
but i do

July 22

each night before bed i update my filing system,
check the emails i sent myself the night before
listing one thing per email, one subject per email,
that need to be taken care of,
resending the ones unfinished to myself,
so they end up at the top of my inbox,
before the to me in my sleep emails
push them down a few rungs.

July 23

too fast
not furious enough


July 24

savannah guthrie
has a freaking lisp.
they're kidding, right?
she's a poor,
child's version of meredith vieira.
i miss ann curry.

July 25

parents pick me up at train
arthur treacher's for dinner
2 pieces of fish and french fries
from a fryer that only fries
the fish and the french fries
and where the soda is unlimited
and they play good music on the p.a.
i've spent a few new year's eves hear by myself,
playing pop-a-shot in the gameroom,
eating fish and chips,
drinking diet cokes,
diabetic unfriendly cherry hi-c's,
and long calls with jill.

July 26

(sing)

i wish that i was nicer when we drove around
but i knew what i was doing,
i still know just what i am doing
and i'm right

July 27

i like danny boyle movies fine enough
trainspotting was amazing
slumdog millionaire was good, but flawed
(almost no one's hooking up with the girl who hooked up with your brother)
but thes london olympics opening ceremonies
couldn't be slower,
they're just damn boring,
they shouldn't be boring,
they nee less filmed inserts,
and some director who's done
olt timey super bowl halftime shows,
the oscars, or the grammys.

July 28

call my niece michelle
tell her it's her dad's half-birthday,
that the only reason i knew is that first girlfriend's birthday
was his half-birthday
so it was always one of their birthdays
or half-birthdays

July 29

(sing)

i got myself one of those salads
where they mix things in,
tomatoes, cherry ones, cucumbers,
and chick peas twice,
and hard boiled eggs twice, too,
with a raspberry vinaigerette
it tasted good, but they chopped it up,
so instead of chunks of egg,
they were diced real fine.
i went to one place,
when i did some longtime temp work,
they had cheese tortellini as one of the choices,
cheese tortellini, cheese tortellini.

July 30

i'm crying to step up 3
and i could blame how sleep deprived i've been
and how it's feeding the mania that's still somewhere
but i won't.

July 31

it's hard when you're a sorta shut-in
and the soda runs out
but someone came to get copies of their play
as they don't have a printer,,
call them back,
"can you bring two two-liter bottles of caffeine free diet pepsi,
regular diet's ok, too."

i got a soda delivery,
two 2-liters of diet pepsi,
they way i often do,
when someone comes to visit,